someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize