my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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