I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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