Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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