3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
