Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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