Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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