Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
