We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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