Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
