i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
