I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
