White coat. Heels.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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