The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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