He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
