yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
