grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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