thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
