Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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