Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i will never coherently bang her
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...