omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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