I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
