you guys were way drunker than both of me
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
