I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
