I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
