Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
