Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
