So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
