Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
