Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
