Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
