By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
