how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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