sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
