There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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