Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
