i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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