we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
