idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
