he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize