but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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