At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
They are going to name an STD after you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's shark week go big or go home
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
