I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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