If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I want a musical about memes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
