I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
