Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
