He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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