when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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