i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
