My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
