i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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