I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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