I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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