Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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