I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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