But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
