yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
