i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
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Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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