he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
