I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
