I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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