I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
