Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
