I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
