butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
